#RealHappiness - Day 27 - Circle of LovingKindness

This one was the only meditation in the book that I found a little alien and uncomfortable. The only reason was this idea of imagining yourself at the enter of a circle of the most loving beings you can think of. I think the first clue that I need to practice in this manner was this uncomfortable feeling. The second was the very telling fact hat I had a hard time thinking of who would form this circle. The first couple were easy. Siddartha Gautama, Thich Nhat Hanh, The Dalai Lama and so on. I added a few other leaders of the world who were known for their compassion. They were easy because there aren't many. Then, I thought I would add some I knew personally. That's when the discomfort returned.

It's very easy to imagine the cheerful smile and goggly glasses of HHTD wishing me well, but when I thought of some of the people closest to me, I didn't think I could imagine them being purely loving toward me. This is disturbing because there are certain people you should be able to automatically count on for unconditional love. Right?!

The first sign of trouble was when my Dad popped to mind but my Mom didn't. I won't divulge the list, in it's final form, here but it was interesting enough that it bears my returning to it later to practice the LovingKindness meditations on the folks who didn't make the cut! ;-)

With my list complete, I settled in and began with breath meditation and some Metta phrases for myself. After a bit, I imagined the people of the circle giving me their full attention and loving regard. Some of those people are some of you reading this now. I envisioned the easiest one first. Sid. Can't imagine him having anything but loving regard for anyone, right?! Then Thich Nhat Hanh, HHTD and so forth.

You choose three or four phrases like the ones we've been using to have these beings offer to you. These should be big, broad phrases in their scope. Then imagine the beings in the circle offering you these phrases with all of their regard and love. I chose these:

May you be free of suffering.

May you be happy.

May you be at ease.

May you be at peace.

May you love and be loved.

The book warns that this may be uncomfortable, but I didn't find it so. Then it says to let whatever emotions arise pass through you without pursuing them. This is a little harder, but still was fairly comfortable for me, perhaps because of my daily practice. Perhaps it would be more difficult if I didn't already have a daily practice in place.

Simply practice this receiving of love from people wishing you love for as long as you like and when you are ready, you end the practice.

With this beautiful and simple practice, I brought the practices provided for the Real Happiness 28 Day Meditation Challenge to a close. Tomorrow I will practice a core sitting meditation while reflecting on the month.

_/\_

Gimme Samma Vaca!

I listened to a recent Against The Stream Podcast today (I highly recommend these free podcasts from the Against The Stream Buddhist Meditation Society as a resource of great Dharma Talks - Kick 'em a few bucks if you find it useful for your practice).  The Podcast was one by JoAnna Harper on Right Speech.  Samma-Vaca, I think, if you're keeping track in Pali.

Anyhow, the podcast was great.  JoAnna talks about all the types of wrong speech such as gossip.  She even goes in to things that she personally lumps in to that same category such as eye-rolling, door-slamming and so forth.  I like her talks and, as she's fairly new to it I guess, her down to earth and sincere vibe.  I especially liked that shortly after she pointed out that people need to learn to appreciate the silences and not feel the need to fill every moment with conversation (which she stepped right up and acknowledged that she used to do herself) she then muttered that she had to "keep turning pages" while she looked for something in her notes.  It was a very endearing quality to see her do exactly what she was talking about during the Dharma Talk.

Anyhow, it got me thinking.  Or, more accurately, it focused my lens on what had been running through my mind a lot lately.  I've had numerous situations lately where I've had to practice Right Speech very mindfully or have been keenly aware of the effects of Right (or wrong) Speech.

A couple of decades ago, a guy who was like a brother to me did many things which damaged his family and our brotherhood of friends.  I honestly, very seriously, considered him to be evil.  Evil like the devil, to quote from "So I Married An Axe Murderer".  So for two decades, I carried this fear and hatred around with me, and we never spoke again.  Until recently.  Recently he initiated a reunion, of sorts, and our brotherhood rallied together again in his home town.  I was in to the whole thing mostly to see the other guys I had lost touch with.  Building up to the event, I practiced a lot of loving-kindness meditation, and spent great quantities of meditation time pondering and practicing forgiveness, specifically toward him, so that I could get through the experience.  I fully expected it to go badly, but had hopes that we would at least get through it without drama.

I arrived in town and, after the gang got together, it was immediately obvious to me - let alone everyone else - that we had all lost out on almost two decades of friendship, fellowship and brotherhood because of wrong speech.  Unskillful words, and little else, had caused this.  And a LACK of compassion and a clinging to wrong perceptions, had perpetuated it.  In the end, open hearts and a lot of hugs had erased all the pain and suffering that those words had caused.  We all picked up where we had left off, and the reunion was one of the greatest, most healing weekends of my life.

I've had several other experiences recently that are similar too.  Old friendships that had been lost and rediscovered turned out to have been lost in the first place due to unskillful speech.  Old opportunities were missed because of a lack of using Right Speech.  Current relationships are protected from harm by the judicious use of Right Speech, my care for the latter having been now informed by the lessons taught by the former.  The list goes on.

Credit: Free images from acobox.com 

Thich Nhat Hanh says “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”  This is so very, very true.

Please check out the Dharma Talks mentioned above if you have the time.  Ponder this post.  Consider and meditate on Right Speech.  It's only one aspect of the Eightfold Path, but take the time to practice it and consider it.  Don't let unskilful speech cause you to lose years of relationships, or miss opportunities that could be life altering.  All of that said, I have no regrets.  As I've written recently, I firmly believe that everything is as it should be, but these are all things that you should experience and deal with skilfully for yourself.  I wish you the best, most skillful results of your own Samma Vaca!

_/\_

Everything Is As It Should Be

I recently enjoyed a reunion, of sorts, with a group of guys I started working with over 20 years ago.  Going in to this experience there were numerous opportunities for trouble.  There was a guy who battled addiction and has been clean for over a decade walking back in to the lion's den.  There was a guy who had been fired for being a jerk, and left numerous ruined and ravaged relationships with friends and family in his wake.  There were ex girlfriends attending this event alongside current wives.  There were guys who went on to have successful alternative careers, while others toiled away in the same career.  There were all sorts of things that made it challenging.  Two of the guys had spent those years on a spiritual quest.  They used to be united by this, but one found Christianity and the other Buddhism (that's me, of course) and are now, seemingly, divided by ones inability to accept the others ways.

In spite of all of these things, the weekend was stupendously amazing.  The bad blood washed away with hugs and handshakes.  The career choices mattered not at all in the face of a bond between this band of brothers that is still stronger than jobs and talent and charisma and which transcends time and practice.  Old flames were warm and friendly but cold by comparison to the heat of familial love.  Old demons cringed in the awesome power of life lived with love and presence.  It was simply, astoundingly, amazing.

It was rewarding for me to see in many ways, but watching all of this I couldn't help but be amazed by the dharma of interbeing everywhere I looked.  I looked around at these people who are really like a family to me, and I realized to my astonishment that any one of these great families, partnerships, friendships...any one of them...might not exist today if not for the choices we made back then.  Good choices, bad choices...they all led here.  And "here" was a beautiful thing.  It was just humbling and beautiful to see.

At the height of the celebration, in the middle of beautiful chaotic creativity, I stood - took a few deep breaths - looked around and smiled.  It was truly one of the greatest moments of my life.  I'm grateful, on this Thanksgiving Day, for all that has led me to where I am today and made me capable of seeing that moment for what it was.  I'm being intentionally vague here, in the interest of others' anonymity, but I hope you've followed the point.  The point is that everything is as it should be.  Enjoy it.

I'm Positive That Negativity Sucks!

Man, I had a great weekend!  It sped by, as they tend to do, but it was great.  There wasn't anything special about it.  No big exciting fun.  Just lots and lots of little moments that were great.  Friday night, I had an excellent walk.  Saturday morning I spent time with a friend and my daughter, then more time with another friend and both our kids.  Had a nice lazy day around the house the middle part of Saturday.  Home alone for a few hours to read and relax.  Nice evening.  Sunday I hung out with my brother for a few hours, then more home alone time.  Sunday evening I took a great walk in the park at dusk.  The whole thing was just nice.  Here's a pic from the park.

Now, by this time you might be wondering what the title of this post has to do with the great weekend I had.  Well, here it is.

Friday night, I also had a lengthy phone conversation with a friend who was being extremely negative and complaining about everything, and they actually irritated me which is rare.  Saturday, another friend made a couple of sideways stabs at me online with some holier than thou attitude and crap.  I had a few minor disagreements with a couple of family members.  One of my favorite authors posted some blog stuff that was real negative.  As I said, he's a favorite of mine, and he's a cool guy, but his books and posts can sometimes come across as really negative.  And a bunch of other little minor annoying stuff happened that was a drag as well.

But come Monday morning, when I got to work and people asked me how my weekend was, I told everyone how GREAT my weekend was, and none of those crappy things came to mind at all.  This is generally how I live life.  I'm USUALLY a happy person with low stress.  I simply don't care about, or am not bothered by, most of lifes little annoying bitches and moans.  I'm not perfect, and I do my own share of negative business, but the majority of the time, my outlook is pretty happy and positive.

I was reading some stuff about Buddhism and negativity, and found a great quote by the Dalai Lama saying "...is an action influenced by anger not very likely to cause more negativity?"

That makes a lot of sense, right?  I mean, if I let all those little things get to me, and lashed out (more angrily than the polite lashing out that I did) at my friend who was being so negative, or if I pointed out to my "holier than thou" friend that his negative attack was worse for his Karma than the thing he perceives me to be guilty of, or if I just hauled off and pimp-slapped some of the people who pissed me off...no good would come of it.

Instead, I am happy to say that - with the exception of being slightly annoyed or perhaps even tickled by these things - most of this stuff doesn't even come up on my radar.  The more annoying things do, but even they are quickly forgotten.  As always, it is mindfulness that helps me with this.  Having a mindful hang-out with my brother or friends, some mindful walking in the park or my favorite of all - mindful breakfast with my daughter, just makes those negative things so unimportant that I mostly forget about them.  It's a great thing.

So, why write about them?  Am I being negative by just talking about these things at all?  Probably.  But I decided to write this post in the hopes that someone, ANYone, out there might read this and take a pause to think about whether they are sniping at their friends, or snapping at their loved ones or just taking pot shots at their acquaintances.  We all do it at some point or another.  And if they find that they are, maybe take a minute to reflect on why we feel we need to do this, then take a few more moments to be mindful.

Not only will this mindfulness possibly prevent them from being hateful or hurtful to others, but more than likely it will probably make them happier in their own lives which is probably the source of the trouble to start with.

Just a few thoughts for you on this fine Monday Tuesday (I didn't have time to post this yesterday)!  Have a good one!
MondoSamu

A Multitude of Mindful Moments

I just walked about a mile with just my daughter, then a half mile with her, my wife and dog, and then another mile and a half alone.  Then, when I got back, I spent about fifteen minutes walking and listening to Nguyen Anh-Huong's "Walking Meditation In Nature" from Thich Nhat Hanh's Walking Meditation CD.



While walking with my daughter, we talked about the beauty of the day.  While walking as a family, we laughed and joked and played.  While walking alone I did my usual walking meditations, and also spent some time pondering some thoughts from the book I am reading right now ("Hardcore Zen").  During the guided, slower, nature walking meditation, I spent time noticing the nature around me.  I stopped to admire the acorn caps, the twigs, the sky, the pine trees, the bare trees trunks, and most of all the leaves.  I felt the leaves of all the shrubs and trees around my yard.  Some of them dead and brittle and some as silky smooth as velvet.  I stood where my wife and I saw a barred owl sitting on our fence a couple of nights ago, and I dwelled on the wonder of that.

Just an incredible day of wonderful moments.  I thought I would share them with you, and wish for you to find the tiny wonders in your own day!

Mindfully yours,
MondoSamu


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Three Miles of Meditation

For months now, I've been walking almost every day.  I tend to average 2.5 to 3 miles.  Every since reading "Savor", I try to make my walking a meditative time as well.  This has worked wonders for me in many ways.

A couple of those ways are more exercise (obviously) and more meditation.  Like most folks, time is always a challenge.  Walking Meditation makes the walking more enjoyable, less effort and most of all it vastly expands my meditation time which has a ripple effect throughout the rest of my life.

Since the weather has gotten colder, and the days shorter, I have no longer able to fit a nice walk at the local park in to my schedule.  I chose to walk in my neighborhood.  The block I'm on, right in front of my house, is precisely one half mile.  I walk it six times to get my three miles in.  So while walking the last bit of it recently, I had the thought that since it is such a neatly broken down series of laps, it would be easy to describe how I use it for my meditation.

I get asked, a lot, HOW I perform walking meditation.  I have Thich Nhat Hanh's book on Walking Meditation, and LOVE it. 

 

I perform the guided meditations on the CD quite often.  I use that one for when I am severely limited on walking space.  Say, for instance, I am stranded at the office, and I know I will not get the opportunity to walk that day outdoors.  I sometimes perform the guided meditations in the hallway of my office building.  I've even performed these in hotel rooms before.

But when I walk outside, I don't listen to music or guided meditations.  I perform my own style of walking meditation based on the things I have learned from Thich Nhat Hanh's books.  The one in my neighborhood breaks down something like this:

0.5 - Breathing
1.0 - Walking Meditation on My Body and Nature.
1.0 - Walking Meditation on My Family and Friends.
0.5 - Walking Meditation on the World, and nothing at all.

For the first half mile loop, I focus simply on my breathing.  I don't try to think of anything in particular.  In fact, focus on my breathing to help clear my mind so that I don't start solving whatever problems are in my head.  Being a professional problem solver, that's just how my mind works.  Every little thing such as how to get a better rate on my insurance, how to teach my daughter to tie her shoes, how to spend more time with my friends who live far away or how to write better CSS code for a web page that I am working on or whatever.  When I am not thinking of anything in particular, my mind starts solving these problems for me.  So…I try very hard to focus on my in-breath and my out-breath, for the first half mile, so that as I enter the second half mile loop, I can turn my mind toward mindful thoughts for me, my family and my friends.

On the second half mile, I begin focusing my thoughts toward my body.  By this time, I am warmed up with the walking, and I can become keenly aware of my body.  Thich Nhat Hanh, in a couple of the books I have read which talked about walking meditation, suggests a process where you first release the tension in your body and let worry and stress fall away as you walk.  Let it sink out of you and in to the earth, acknowledging it, but releasing it.  Then you can start to give gratitude for your body and health.  I start by saying to myself, mentally:

Breathing in, I am aware of my body. 
Breathing out, I appreciate my body. 
Breathing in I welcome the energy of the universe to my body. 
Breathing out, I send the energy throughout my body and back to the universe.
Breathing in, I keep the energy I need,
Breathing out, I send the rest back to the universe. 
Breathing in, I am aware of my leg muscles,
Breathing out, I am aware of their wellness"

and so on for my entire body.

I usually end this portion of the process with something along the lines of:

Breathing in, I am grateful to my body
Breathing out, I appreciate my body's function
Breathing in, I thank my body
Breathing out, I smile to my body.

If you have never done any of this before, these meditations can sound a little odd, but when you are actually doing it, I assure you that it will feel more natural.  For that matter, and this is important, it doesn't matter how you do it or what you say…these are good guides, but I only do them because they work for me.  I arrived at these by starting with some of the suggestions that Thich Nhat Hanh recommends, but I rapidly evolved the suggestions in to my own things.  Things that matter to me, or that feel natural to my inner mind.  The only thing that really matters, at least in my opinion, is that you are focused on gratitude.  The feeling you get from gratitude (and I mean the chemical reaction your body has to the emotion) and the physical benefits from the walking give you a double-whammy of healthy benefit, and there's hard science to back it up.  (I'll be reviewing the book Buddha's Brain for more on that soon)

Anyhow, once I have finished the laps two and three, focused on gratitude for my body, I spend the next two laps doing the same thing, but focused toward my immediate family.  Basically I do breathing-thoughts (as I tend to refer to them) focused on my Wife, Daughter, Brother and Sister for the first of those two laps, then on my entire extended family and set of friends on the second.

I then spend the next lap (being the final half mile) focusing on nothing at all.  I release all thoughts, I typically spend that time smiling.  I let my mind drift and don't focus on any thoughts.  If I notice that I am starting to think of a particular thing, I give mental thanks for the thought, and ask it if I can get back to it later.

At the end of my walk, I slow down, and if possible I like to end the walk with a very slow walking meditation like the guided ones in the Walking Meditation book, or sometimes I will do some mindful movements that are sort of loosely based on Tai Chi.  They are a great way to smooth the pulse back down to a normal rate and be fully relaxed.

That's it!  I hope that you find some use in this information.  I get asked about it often, and it's rather hard to describe quickly, so I often feel I've not helped people who ask.  Alternatively, I hear myself describing it and realize that the average person might find this all to be a little uncomfortable.

A buddy of mine, whom I recommended Mindful Running to when his iPod died tried it for a while and then called me one day with a lengthy poke in the ribs about it.  The story was too long to tell, but suffice it to say that it ended with him buying another iPod.  Maybe it's not for everyone, but I think if he would have tried his running would be much improved.

Please feel free to post and questions and I'll try to answer them.  Meanwhile if you Google "Walking Meditation" you'll get TONS of useful information, guided meditations and assistance.  I highly recommend the Thich Nhat Hanh book "Walking Meditation" as well.  It has been a great thing for me.

MondoSamu

A Mindfulness Snowball to the Face!

Back on Christmas Day, my wonderful day ended in a wonderful way.

After a LONG day of great family fun, opening of presents, family meals and LOTS of vicarious living through my daughter on her first Christmas where she really understood it and enjoyed it, we were treated to an evening snow.

In Georgia, white Christmases are exceedingly rare. We only got a couple of inches, but it was plenty. It was the perfect, big, fat flakes that make the best kind of snowmen.

Well, my Father-In-Law (a Canadian, it's worth mentioning) stuck his head outside, saw the snow building up, and said he was going out to build a Snowman. My daughter, wife and Mother-In-Law all jumped up and started getting bundled up for some snow fun.

While I was excited, I was more interested in the warm, comfy chair I was holding down. I thought "Ah, I'll check it out later." Ultimately, I felt guilty for not going outside with everyone else, so I sighed a burdened sigh and headed outside with a frown.

When I walked outside, I saw my little girl rolling a big base-snowball for her snowman, as beautiful as it could be! Moments later, a great snowball fight ensued.

As a side-note, I was very pleased to see my little girls first snowball fight was met with great joy and enthusiasm, and not tears. How one reacts to ones' first snowball to the face is a major turning point in ones' life, y'know.

Anyhow, I very quickly lost myself in the joyful, mindful moment of the snowman building and snowball fighting, and it seemed to last forever. It was the greatest thing.

Later, I reflected on the fact that I nearly missed it all. I couldn't believe that I had nearly passed it up. Luckily, I didn't miss it. I took a few moments to think about it, decided I would regret it if I didn't go outside, and I DID go outside. The short time outside seemed to last hours, and was one of the most wonderful moments of the season for me.

It was a Mindfulness snowball shot to the face, and I needed it!

It was a powerful lesson for me. A lesson on mindfulness, and a lesson on joy. If you ever find yourself in need of a little joy, and mindfulness, you need look no further than the nearest four year old. They are nearly always immersed in the both!

MondoSamu

Happy NOW Year!!!

2010 has passed. 2011 spreads out before us. Between the two is all that matters. Right NOW.

I wanted, very much, to look back at the year and recount my achievements in this post. Every time I sat down to write this, however, I felt troubled. In the end, I finally decided to take my favorite piece of Buddhist wit "Don't just do something, Sit there!" and put it to practice (if you'll pardon my play on words). I held the question of why this writing of my New Year post was troubling me so much in my mind - "as the sky does the cloud" as one of my favorite analogies goes - while I just sat in meditation. I didn't try to solve it, just let it sit there with my acknowledgment and cocked my meditative head to one side and observed it to see what it would tell me.

To my chagrin, it told me nothing. Having read of this method from others I was sort of expecting it (my mistake) to unravel before me, laying the answer bare. Instead it just sat there.

However, by thinking on the question, and not in it, I was able to learn more about it. What I saw while looking at the question was that here was no reason to answer it. The recounting of past events, as I looked at it without trying to address it, made me realize that the reason it was bothering me is that there was no reason for it.

As I have embraced this mindfulness lifestyle which I have always found attractive, and which I finally started practicing seriously in July, I have tried hard to always live in the moment. This is where the great skeleton key lies! That key which opens all doors. It's not always easy to do, and I'm certainly not perfect about it. But I am always getting better at it. It was this present mindfulness that disagreed with the urge to write about all the things I have accomplished in 2010 & to tell you all the things I hope to achieve in 2011.

It was the "NOW" ignoring the "monkey mind", as they say.

If I made a bullet list out of my achievements in 2010, what would I accomplish? Nothing. These are all things that a reader of the blog already knows. Heck, this blog is - itself - a recounting of those achievements. That is it's nature! So, really, all I would have accomplished would be to boast. To toot my own horn, as they say.

While I am very pleased with what I have done, and hopeful about what I hope to do in the future, I will get there the same regardless. So, I am better off just enjoying where I am right now. The first day of a new year and everything I want and need to make me happy is all around me.

So. Instead of recounting things I have done and stating things I will do, I invite you to join me in this moment and take a nod from Thich Nhat Hanh. Take a few minutes, more if you can, and breathe in and out a few times focusing simply on gratitude for this very moment. As I said at the beginning "2010 has passed. 2011 spreads out before us. Between the two is all that matters. Right NOW."

Have a great moment, every moment, and please know that I am very grateful for you taking the time to visit here!

Happy NOW Year!!!

MondoSamu

Giving Thanks

Today was Thanksgiving Day, and I had a great day! I have more to be thankful for this year than ever before. My health is almost better than ever, as I have now lost 60 pounds. My family is great, my job is wonderful and much, much more.

The interesting thing is that once you begin living a mindful life, every day is thanksgiving day! The only difference, in terms if giving thanks, is that I get to say it out loud to the people I love, rather than giving thanks internally as I walk mindfully or meditate.

Above all, this year, I am grateful for mindfulness itself. The mindfulness i discovered in "Savor" by Thich Nhat Hanh and Dr. Lilian Cheung has helped me in every way imaginable, but none more so than that of mindful eating. Today is, quite literally, the first time I can recall in my life that I indulged in tremendously good Thanksgiving fare and walked away from the table not in pain. And, if that's not enough, I then walked three miles! All of this would have been impossible for me to fathom a few months ago.

I definitely gave thanks to the authors of "Savor" today, for they have both - in different ways - helped me to change my life!

I don't fancy myself to be a poet, but I enjoy playing with Haiku. I find it helps focus your thoughts and aid mindfulness. Anyhow, I jotted down this one today, and thought I would share:

"Cornucopia,

Recipes passed on from past.

Mindful Indulgence."

And this one:

"Plentiful bounty,

Family and friends surround.

I want for nothing!"

And lastly I share with you what I commented to my friends and family today:

"I am thankful for my body, for taking care of me until I finally started taking care of it. Thankful for my beautiful wife and daughter! I'm thankful for my family and friends, one and all, past and present, here and gone. This beautiful world and the good people in it. And my life! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!"

I hope you, too - whether you celebrate this holiday or not,  gave and received gratitude in your life today! I leave you with a picture of the town Christmas tree as it was lit for the first time this evening.

Happy Holidays!

MondoSamu

Unbelievable. And unbelievably sad.

Just read this story on CNN.

As a father of a four year old girl who's sole motivation for ever asking for McDonald's is the toy she gets, this story is very, very sad to me.

This stuff keeps building up, and at some point somethings gotta give.  We can't, as a culture, continue to support fast food as it is today.  There are scores of fast food joints within a mile of me, but the nearest vegetarian restaurant is 15 miles away.

Like everything in free enterprise, it's all about supply and demand.  While the things these corporations do are not great, the bottom line is that as long as we line up and place our orders for crap food loaded with salt and sugar, and little to no nutritional value, they will keep right on selling it to us.

WE have to stop eating it, then the problem WILL go away.

Sorry...I tend to keep things positive around here, but this story really irked me, as I just finished reading a book related to this.  I'll post a review soon.

We now resume our regular positive programming!
MondoSamu

Ramblings On Impermanence, Tea and Mindfulness

What a great couple of days I've had! I left yesterday morning and drove to Columbus, GA. (my hometown) where I arrived with no real purpose or plan. I had intended to visit a couple of people there, but having failed to notify them in advance I didn't feel right about it. I decided instead to visit the grave sites of my parents.

First I stopped by my Dad's site where I spent some time listening to some Thelonious Monk (Round Midnight was my Dad's favorite) while I "visited" with him. I haven't been there in over a decade, but when I visit I always play some of his favorite music and hang out and I guess...sort of, commune...with him. Afterward, I went to a place nearby...his favorite donut shop. I bought a single cake donut (his favorite) and enjoyed it immensely. He was a musician and would always stop there on his way in to town after he'd been gone for months, and pick up donuts for us.  I identify the taste of cake donuts with my Dad very closely.  So close that I can summon stunning visual imagery of him with a single bite.  Funny how "emotional eating" can be tricky that way, huh?  Something that tastes amazing, summons amazing good memories...why wouldn't you want to eat a ton?  Bah.  Glad I have gotten a grip on THAT!  And glad they don't have them in Atlanta!   The shop, Veri Best Donuts, has been in Columbus as far back as I can remember. It's a sad looking little dive, but they are true to their name.

After finishing my first donut in months, I headed for my destination of Auburn, AL. but stopped on the way by my Mom's grave site. She's at a different location across town. My Dad passed away over two decades ago, but my Mom passed away just a few years ago. I visited with her for a bit and then continued on my way.

As I drove through my old hometown, I passed by some of the places I lived around town. I also passed by a lot of the businesses that have been there for years. Nothing will drive home the idea of impermanence like visiting your parents graves, and seeing that very physical earthen reminder of just how impermanent life is.

I feel I should mention, in case you are wondering, that I visit with my parents in my walking meditations on nearly a daily basis, but I don't think of them as being "in" the cemeteries. I just think of their graves as a physical connection between the two, or a physical representation I suppose. I point this out because when I go there, I still visit with them the same way I do daily, which is via meditation (or if you prefer, prayer).

Anyhow, as I visited their graves, I kept thinking of Thich Nhat Hanh's words on impermanence: "like a father looking at his children can see himself in his children, can see his continuation in his children. So he is not attached to the idea that his body is the only thing that is him." This is certainly true, as my siblings and I are all very definitely continuations of our parents, and I can see that my daughter is a continuation of my wife and I.


Anyhow, I moved on to Auburn where I attended the Greg Mortenson (author of Three Cups of Tea and Stones in to Schools) lecture. It was really great, and I was very fortunate to sit right up front and then meet him during a book signing held immediately following the lecture. I bought a copy of the childrens story book version for my daughter to get it signed for her and told him my story of why I donate to the CAI every year on my birthday (I'll post the full story some time) and he gave me a copy of the young readers edition to give to my daughter when she is older and he gave me a copy of the Stones in to Schools book and signed it. It was all extremely cool and he is such a genuinely nice and charismatic guy, it's easy to see how his personality has helped him be so well received by the people he has helped. If you haven't read his books, I would really strongly recommend them!

Anyhow, I spent yesterday visiting with friends in the Auburn area. I have a friend who is the Network Admin for the whole place and it was fun to visit the campus and see him.

I kept getting reminders of impermanence all weekend. My parents graves, businesses from my childhood that are utterly gone (buildings and all) and change and growth in these small cities I grew up around. Yet at the same time all the new growth, new life, young people I know such as my friends daughter who attended the lecture with me (which was interesting to see her realize that her 'problems' aren't as bad as they could be as she watched the Afghanistan footage in the lecture and heard the statistics such as most girls being married at 12 years old and having 3-9 kids).

It was all just very interesting and made me really get a sense of "Interbeing" such as Thich Nhat Hanh talks about and it was interesting to view all of this from a little higher elevation, so to speak, so as to see the bigger picture of the impermanence of it all. It kept reminding me of Thich Nhat Hanh's words about the gardener not being upset by a flower that dies and rots because he knows he needs that rotting flower to make compost for the flowers to grow. (I'm grossly paraphrasing here, but you get the point).  I was seeing the loss of the past spread out behind me and the growth of the future learning and growing in front of me.

Bottom line is that the trip was wonderful in countless ways. Even parts that might seem saddening only served to make me happier because I felt like the organic gardener looking at the compost and seeing the beautiful flowers.

MondoSamu

I just have to share something I find really, really cool.  First of all, I want to recognize a great guy who partially inspired me to start this blog and who is on a journey similar to my own, but equally different.  The Dharma Loser (as he sometimes refers to himself)…check out his blog at http://www.dharmaloss.com and enjoy.  He's got a really cool blog going over there, and it's worthy reading if you're looking for some inspiration in your own weight loss or life changing journey.

Anyhow, I mention him because I added links to some sites that I like a lot yesterday, and many of them are sites that I wouldn't have found if not for his blogroll.  One of the sites he links to (and now so do I if you check out the link list to the right!) is DharmaDots.  I'm not a Buddhist, and I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but my ways have more in line with these than anything else, so who knows.  Anyhow, While surfing all the cool sites, looking for interesting stories, I was lamenting that I simply don't have time to go looking for all this information.  Then…I found DharmaDots.

The mission of DharmaDots is to be a clearinghouse of sorts…a one stop shop for all the OTHER cool sites related to Buddhism.  In itself, I found it to be pretty great.  The thing that makes it spectacular is when you combine it with another awesome app called FlipBoard for the iPad!

If you have an iPad, FlipBoard takes all your Facebook, Twitter and other misc. FlipBoard provided news and entertainment content and turns it in to an A-W-E-S-O-M-E interactive magazine (which is 1000% cooler than it sounds).

To truly appreciate it, you'd have to see it in action.  I don't have a video of it in action, handy, so here's a few screen grabs.

The cover looks like any magazine, and rotates pictures from recent posts.

The "Contents" allow you to tap on whatever media source you want to read.

From your list of "articles" you can tap on one if you want to read more.

It brings that full screen, and then from here, if you still want more, you can tap on the link to view it on the web.

From here, you can just tap to close when done and it backs up a level, and again and again.  It's VERY fluid and easy to use.  It truly makes the most of the iPads' touch screen. 

This has, in effect, given me everything I could possibly want in terms of Buddhism related (or any other) content in a magazine!  If you have an iPad, I HIGHLY recommend FlipBoard and DharmaDots!

MondoSamu

APP REVIEW: Happy Tapper Apps (Part 1 - The Vision Board)

So, I wake up at 4:45a.m., I do 30 minutes of Simply Tai Chi, I enter my exercise in to the LoseIt! app by FitNow for the iPhone, meditate for 15 minutes using Meditate - Meditation Timer by SimpleTouch Software and then I use all three of the Happy Tapper apps.  Let's look at the first one - Vision Board Deluxe - and how I use it.

After my meditation, I open the Vision Board Deluxe app from Happy Tapper.  All the Oprah fans out there probably know exactly what a vision board is, but the rest of us may never have heard of such a thing.  Personally, I read a lot of motivational and self-help books.  I don't do so because I'm looking for help with anything in particular, I just find them to be excellent ways to stay positive and motivated.  For instance, I love Dr. Wayne Dyer's books.  Especially his audio.  I find his voice, as well as his story telling, to be very good.  One of my favorites is "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life" which examines the Tao Te Ching.  I have read and listened to the audio of that several times and just find it to be a great way to remain motivated.  I do that with most self-improvement books.  Well, if that sounds like good advice to you as well, then a Vision Board - especially one you can carry and update at all times - is a great idea!

Anyhow, somewhere along the way I learned what a vision board was and I tried it out.  I got a cork board, filled it full of pictures of the things I wanted, places I wanted to go, goals I wanted to achieve.  It was pretty cool, but I rarely looked at it, and never updated it.  Bottom line…it wasn't portable, so it wasn't for me.  I'm a high-tech guy on the go, and I found that if I couldn't carry it around, it didn't help.  At this point, I actually made a really cool bookmark version of mine, and started using it in whatever book I was reading, so at least I saw it a lot more.  It was analog-lo-fi-paper-based, so I still didn't REALLY use it, especially once I got my Sony eReader (for free from Google - but that's another story!).  So I went looking for a mobile version.  One I could pull out and view any time, anywhere.

Enter Happy Tapper!  Since Gratitude! (formally known as Gratitude Journal Your Positive Thoughts)  by Happy Tapper came out first, I actually used it first and it just so happened that around the same time I was looking for a vision board app, Happy Tapper released the ULTIMATE Vision Board Deluxe app!  I snagged it the moment it landed in the app store!

As I had, by that time, come to expect from Happy Tapper it was AMAZING!  Perfectly designed to do one simple job and do it well with a fun, happy aesthetic that I appreciated.  As a guy, I have always found Happy Tapper apps just a touch on the cutesy side and have shared this with the developer (and she has taken it to heart).  But if that's the only thing one can find to complain about in an app, then the developer is doing something right!


The apps by Happy Tapper are simply the best at what they do.  And I have always preferred function over form.  Happy Tapper has given us both, beautifully integrated...in all their apps! 

So, I spent a few minutes gathering images on the web of things I would like on my Vision Board, went through the very simple setup process and had my portable Vision Board Deluxe up and running in minutes.  It's so easy to edit and manipulate that you can just add on to it at any point.  You can also have multiple "boards".  I created several and choose to hit "Play" and watch them cycle.

Here's a screencap of what you see.  There isn't much more to it, and as you can see it's very simple and easy to jump right in to.

So...I launch the app and it shows the title of the "board" and then starts cycling through the images.  You can enter text as well, of course.  My method of using it is to read each one aloud to myself.  All of Happy Tappers apps tend to have quotes in them as well that you can use if you wish.  I have them turned on in mine, so every few frames it inserts a quote that is motivational or inspirational.  I find this keeps it fresh so that you stay focused on it instead of getting accustomed to your own entries and drifting off from the purpose which is focusing on the visualization.

All of mine take about 5 minutes to cycle through.  When I am done, I exit and move on to the next app!

That was a lot of information to say something rather simple, but to recap, the bottom line is:

Vision Board Deluxe is a very sleek, simple app to help you visualize your goals.  Whether you're a believer in Vision Boards, or you just need something to help you focus on your goals, it's a GREAT solution.  The BEST solution, in my opinion!

Next app I review will be Gratitude! by Happy Tapper...stay tuned.

MondoSamu

***UPDATE*** I mistakenly posted pics of both Vision Board AND Gratitude!  I've removed them and apologize for any confusion!

Mindful moments move me.

Stopping for coffee this morning, I was struck by the beauty and utter calm of this scene, overlooked 1000 times a day by people in too big of a hurry to see it.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

What a day!

Today was a truly wonderful day! I spent the morning with my little girl, as is our Saturday routine, then we went to a birthday party for her little friend. The friend is one of three young daughters of one of my best friends. At this gathering was a whole group of my best friends. Not all of them, but many. Looking around this group I saw these people whom I have been friends with for 15-plus years, their spouses, whom I've come to be close friends with as well, and a flock of children.


The children are what amazes me most. When I met this group of people we were all much younger, having parties, going to concerts. Now we all are married and have kids. The girl who had the birthday today is two and just welcomed her new baby sister in to the world. It was the strangest feeling to be there surrounded by these folks and feel like a family. It was like being with brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. It was a great time.

After that, we came home and my little girl was awakened from a nap to find her Nana and Grampy here visiting from Canada! She was so happy!

I've lost 47 pounds so far, and is was the first time that the friends and in-laws have all seen me since I was a whopping 349 lbs. So they were all very amazed and happy for me and lavished me with kind compliments. While that was very nice, what I enjoyed was seeing one of these friends who is, herself, trying to lose a lot of weight. She is a lifelong overweight person. She said I was a true inspiration to her, and I let her know she inspires me. She doesn't see her own winnings in her struggle. She is going to school late in life to make a big change and is doing well. She's working, and losing weight. She has lost 23 pounds! It makes me sad because I see her getting in her own way by worrying about the future instead of living in the moment and being mindful. I made sure I gave her plenty of support today.

With the wonderful family and friend fun, and all the joy I could see from them it just made the whole day so easy to be mindful. I spent the entire day focused intently in the moment and it was great!

I topped the whole thing off with a few miles of mindful walking in he beautiful weather around my neighborhood and dinner with the family. I also bought my third copy of Savor...for the iPad this time. I just got it yesterday and the iBook ability to take notes and such is incredible.

I realize this post is a little rambling and might seem meaningless, but I assure you it's not. The point I'm trying to make is best summed up with a quote from the early pages of Savor:



And with that, I leave you for tonight. I'll try to get the first of my Happy Tapper reviews up tomorrow.

Mindfully,
Mondo Samu

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad