The Longest Night of the Year Went Too Fast!

I just returned from a trip to Dallas, Texas, on business and had a really great trip.   On Tuesday, December 21st, I had enough free time in the evening that I wanted to get out and do something.  When I travel, I try to use the opportunity to do as many things as I can that I wouldn't normally do.

When I eat out, I like to frequent restaurants I have never been to, and can only go to, in the city I am visiting.  I like to visit the less ordinary attractions.  Take, for instance, when I had a local take me to a Pan Yard in Trinidad.  That is something that very few Americans would get to see because it seems slightly (or very) dangerous, and it's not easy to find.  Just getting there would scare off most tourists.  But, that's just what I like to do.  I'd much rather experience something truly unique than see a tourist trap attraction.

So that explains why when looking at the list of local concerts, movies, events and such in Dallas, that the one that appealed to me the most was the "Winter Solstice Celebration" at the interestingly-lacking-in-specific-practice-tradition-name-appended-to-the-beginning "Dallas Meditation Center"!

I checked out the web site, and all the related information, and I wasn't sold.  First off, I'm rather neutral when it comes to solstice recognition.  Meaning, I have a lot of friends to whom it's a big deal because of their particular religions, but not being particularly religiously affiliated myself it's never been something I paid much attention to.  Also, the very thing that intrigued me about them - the lack of a specified "tradition" such as "Mahayana" or "Soto Zen" or whatever - also turned me off a little because they were SO open to all faiths that I feared a distracting mix of beliefs that might make my first foray in to group meditation a distracted mess.

After vacillating back and forth all day, right up to 30 minutes before the event, I finally decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  I put on some white track pants (as the flyer had requested that you wear white if possible) and I set out for the Dallas Meditation Center with my hopes set high, but my running shoes laced up tight in case I didn't like what I found!

By the way, the deciding factor in me finally going was that the facilitator of the event was the founder of the center, Brother ChiSing, who is a student of Thich Nhat Hanh.  I figured , if nothing else, this was a guy I wanted to meet.

Can you tell that I was going in to this with high hopes and low expectations?  I was fully aware of the fact that I was judging this event, this place and it's people without any reasonable cause.  In the end, it was the realization that I was stopping myself before I started - getting in my own way, basically - that made me man-up and go.

When I arrived, the outside of the building was very encouraging.  It was decorated in each window with things like "Tai Chi", "Interfaith", "Interbeing" and so on.  I walked in the front door and there was no one to greet me.  Just when I started feeling kind of like a party crasher, someone walked by and asked if I was there for the event.  I said that I was but didn't know where to go, and they invited me back to get involved.  They asked that I shed my shoes outside the room and directed me inside, where I found a few people sitting already in a meditative state, and a few others just quietly sitting.  It was a little unnerving being thrust in to the room with no real knowledge of what I was in for.

I took a seat, and started doing a little mindful breathing of my own to get myself in the right frame of mind.  It was easy, due to the environment. The room was hardwood floors, large and dark but lit softly with candles and strings of white lights like Christmas lights.  People were trickling in and getting seated, and soon enough Brother ChiSing came in and got things under way.

What followed was the best two hours of group meditation, chanting, talking, mindful moving, relaxation, solstice honoring time I could have ever hoped for.   We started with some introductions, and each person sharing - in a single word - what they were letting go of with the changing cycle of the year and what they were welcoming in.  It became clear that the group had some pain and suffering that they were holding.  The words came with emotion.  Words like "the past", " pain", "loss", "non-practice", "suffering", "judgment", "grief".  Then, the same ones who shared their painful word, shared their word of welcoming for the new year.  These words dwarfed the negative ones with their passion and energy!  These were words such as "new experiences", "practice", "assertiveness", "openness", "non-judgement"  and others.  As sad as some of the emotion was when they said their past words, their future words were full of light and hope!  It was remarkable to be a part.

There were some chants that ChiSing led us in, giving honor to the changing seasons and cycles of the planet and our lives.  They were in multiple languages and honored no particular religion.  There was some "dancing", the prospect of which had me quaking, but in execution it was little more than a circle moving around and singing a little chant.  We did a couple of meditation sessions that were great!  Until that night the longest I had ever meditated was for 15 minutes and in a comfy chair.  This meditation was performed with most everyone on a Zafu and Zabuton (meditation cushion and mat) in a large circle.  This was great for a few reasons for me....first off I really wanted the group meditation experience, so I could decide if I want to pursue the same back home.  Secondly, I wanted to try the mat and cushion, as I have asked for my own for Christmas.   Lastly, I really wanted to meditate for a longer period of time.  All of this turned out to be great!  The meditation was really wonderful, and the group aspect adds a quality, and depth that I am not sure I can adequately describe, but to say that it is very rich.

Without describing it in crushing detail, suffice it to say that the evening went too quickly and was a great deal of fun, very gratifying in many ways and exceeded my expectations by miles!  We did some mindful moving, which was essentially Tai Chi mixed with some thoughtful leadership.  ChiSing gave a heartwarming appeal to everyone to make a choice to say yes - or no - to a mindful pursuit of life over the next two years.  He spoke of the solstice, the cycles of he earth, life and the universe, and of the fact that the planet simply can't sustain people  not living mindfully any longer.  He encouraged everyone to choose to attend group meditations like the one we were having, engage in a mindful life and practice, and stressed that these groups are occurring more and more around the world and that they really matter.  I've done a poor job here of describing it, but the talk was very mindful, poignant and moving.

The night wrapped up with everyone taking a moment to say what they had on their mind, which was very inspirational, and then another group "dance" and chant.

The happiness, mindfulness and sense of Sangha was palpable, and everyone gave hugs and handshakes all around before retiring to the kitchen for some desserts and discussion.

I had a wonderful time talking about "Savor" with a woman who said that my words during the evening about Thich Nhat Hanh and "Savor" were exactly the message she felt she needed to hear.  I really enjoyed this, because I felt the same way when I discovered "Savor"...that it was the right message for me at the right time.  She's now intent on getting the book and applying mindful eating to her own life.  I enjoyed fun and thought provoking discussion with ChiSing and some others about all manner of things.  I felt as though I had made a dozen new friends and was saddened to have to leave them behind.  I took comfort in this though, knowing that we are all connected.  I hope if I am ever back in the Dallas area, I will have the opportunity to meet with and enjoy their company again!

What is the point of all of this?  Well, there are many.  But if i needed to pick a single overriding theme to focus on for this experience it would be "Be open!"

Be open to trying mindfulness in your own life, be open to trying new things that are outside your comfort zone, be open to trying things you might think aren't for you, be open to making new friends, be open to new experiences and even people whom you've never expected you would enjoy or have things in common with.

One of my favorite quotes, which is part of my meditation every single day, is "As I enjoy people, I attract enjoyable people".  I embraced that ideal on the Solstice and was rewarded with infinite kindness, friendship and love from a room full of complete strangers!

I want to tell you more about Brother ChiSing, but I have more to learn about him first.  For now, please take a few moments to check out his various web sites and see what he's doing with the Dallas Meditation Center, then go out and look for something similar in your own area and get involved with it.  At least try it.  As ChiSing encouraged me before leaving, "no one place will be perfection, but just try them all and you'll find one that works for you."

I'll do a follow up story on ChiSing in the future and I will feature his music, and meditation center and more.  Until then, I truly hope that this story has inspired you to look for some similar experience in your own area.

When I was younger I spent countless years exploring and trying various churches.  I was seeking a place of fellowship, and group spirituality, but was constantly disappointed in the people who made up the gatherings.

Not once did I find a place where the group was there for the spirituality of it, but instead I consistently found people who were using the gathering as a networking opportunity or for gossip.  This soured me on religion for many years, until I found my own path that worked for me and eventually accepted and understood what they were doing.

What I found at the DMC,  in addition to all the other great things I described above, was a group of interfaith practitioners who shared a single common desire to meditate and be mindful regardless of their individual religious beliefs.  And no gossip at all!

Thank you to Brother ChiSing, and all of the other kind souls who attended the Winter Solstice Celebration the Dallas Meditation Center, for showing me a great time and extending such warmth and kindness to me. It is my great wish for you all that you achieve the things you are welcoming for the new year!

Warm regards,
Happy Holidays,
MondoSamu

Strength? Will-power? Choice.

I want to talk about something that has come up a lot for me lately. In fact it's the number one topic that has come up for me in my weight loss efforts. It's people thinking that I am "super-strong", or possessed of "incredible will-power" or such.

I'm not.

At work there's a woman who constantly exclaims "Gosh, you are SO strong! I could never do that!" when I refuse one of the daily pastry treats people bring in to snack on. One of my friends always says "Yeah, but you have tremendous will-power." And another friend told me, very sweetly, that I "more than anyone" she's "ever known" am able to "commit" to things once I make up my mind.

Well, while it's true that I am the type of person who once I make up my mind, I can be like a dog with a bone. It's also true that I weighed 349 pounds until a few months ago and have been overweight my entire life! While I definitely do not suffer from low self-esteem, and will be the first to say I am a strong person (see?), I have to say that I'm not as strong as everyone seems to think. I'm not super-powered. If I was so strong, then the weight would never have been a lifelong issue for me. So, I ponder - a lot - the idea of WHY has this weight loss and mindfulness change been relatively easy for me (so far)? Why AM I able to do it so easily?

There are a few reasons that this concerns me so much.

1. I don't want others to think it will be a snap, if it's not and then feel bad that they aren't having the same results.
2. I don't want any blog readers to "change the channel" because they think this information doesn't apply to them. ("Oh, that's just him…I can't do that")
3. I just want to know why, after decades of not being able to resist food, I'm suddenly strong in this way. I assure you it's a mystery to me as well.

The one that really made me think I better address this whole issue was an email I was deeply honored to receive from one of the authors of "Savor", Dr. Lilian Cheung congratulating me on my success so far, and saying "The most exciting phenomena for us is to hear from you that it has not been a struggle." (an email I cherish and read now and then for a boost!). I had that on my mind when I started re-reading "Savor" for the third time. Even the book says that the change won't occur over-night.

But…for me…it did. There are changes I'm making nearly every day, but the important one - THE change - was simply a single decision. A choice I made. The choice to live mindfully. As "Savor" says:

"Attaining a healthy weight is your choice. And it is a practice, not an idea."

YOUR CHOICE! There is great power in that phrase…please read it again, and focus mindfully on that sentence before you go on.

"Attaining a healthy weight is your choice. And it is a practice, not an idea."

"Savor" starts out talking about the Four Noble Truths as they relate to weight loss. The first:

"The First Noble Truth: Being Overweight or Obese is Suffering"

Is all about identifying your suffering. Determining why you are overweight, how much, the patterns that got you here, the emotions that lead to your feelings about food, etc. It's about doing some serious soul searching. I think this part is very hard for anyone. For me, I had already been doing this for a very long time…about a year…before I finally found "Savor", so perhaps part of my seemingly overnight success is that I was very much aware of my suffering and ready to do something about it, I just didn't know what to do. So the decision I made happened instantly, but the thoughts and feelings that lead up to it had been going on for a much longer time.

The events I discussed previously that lead up to me reading "Savor", and subsequently all the weight loss, were a series of events and situations that kept adding up. Piling up is more accurate. They piled up, and piled up like the pounds did, until I knew that if I didn't make a change very soon, and VERY big, I would be in serious danger in several areas of my life.

I was very worried about my health, and my longevity. I was really afraid I might not be around for my daughter. Having lost my own father (who was obese, blind, diabetic and had cancer) when I was 18, I was keenly aware of my own chances of suffering a similar fate.

So, my friend was right about one thing…I am the type of person who sets my mind on something and doesn't give up. But weight control was the one area of my life I have never been able to manage correctly. That's why when I read "Savor" so much of it spoke deeply and directly to me with the message I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it. It's not that it told me anything new - we all know these common sense things (eat less, exercise more), I think - it's something about how the authors expressed it and combined it with the idea…the imperative…to live in the present moment! Something about my state of mind when I read it. Whatever it was, the words made more sense, and hit closer to home, than any I have read before.

So, I guess what I want to make sure people take away from this blog first and formost, is that you CAN do this. You CAN make the choice. A choice is just a choice…simple as that. I can't promise it will be easy, and I hope it won't be hard.  I deeply hope for you that it is as natural as it has been for me, but what once you decide that you want to lose weight, I would suggest reading "Savor" and pay particular attention to the breathing work, to learn how to "come back to yourself".

If you can do this, then this ONE decision will make it infinitely easier to tackle all the other challenges that you will face.

"Attaining a healthy weight is your choice."

It's not strength.

It's not Will-Power.

It's CHOICE!

YOUR CHOICE!

Best,

MondoSamu

Simply LoseIt! with Tai Chi

So, now that we've established that Savor! is the foundation of my work to lose weight, let's move on to the details of what I am doing.

My normal wake up time was 5:30 a.m., and I am a morning person.  My wife and kid are awesome, so to keep from losing time with them, I started getting up at 4:45 a.m., and the first thing I do (after caring for the family pets) is Tai Chi.

I pop in the Simply Tai Chi DVD, and do the warm up and then the 12 forms for 30 minutes.  Some days, I switch it out for a different style like the Yang style and do something a little different to keep it fresh.

I'm not qualified, by any stretch of the imagination, to write knowledgeably on Tai Chi, so I won't spend a lot of time on that.  Just know that, for me, it has proven to be a fantastic way to do some moving meditation, and burn some calories, doing something I truly enjoy and is low impact.  Beyond that you can check out the Wikipedia page which has some great links and information for further research.

More importantly, when I am done with that morning exercise, I immediately use the first of several iPhone apps I rely on:

LoseIt! by FitNow;

I tap on LoseIt, and enter my exercise (30 minutes of Tai Chi), then it posts that automatically (because I set it up to do so) on FaceBook so that all my friends who are using their time to play FarmVille can see that I have just used mine to get in shape and lose weight!

When I weigh in on Sunday or Monday, LoseIt! posts any losses (again, because I allowed it to do so) on my FaceBook as well.

Let me explain what (in my opinion) is the magic of LoseIt! - Nothing!  There is no magic!  LoseIt! makes it easy for busy folks to lose weight by doing what doctors the world over have been telling overweight people to do FOR-E-VER!  WATCH WHAT YOU EAT!

It sounds simple, but in a SEA of diets that each take their own path to help you lose weight, and usually fail, LoseIt! relies on the age old idea that if you pay attention to what you are eating, keep a journal of it, track the calories, you will lose weight.  This app fits extremely well with the Savor book because, if used, it MAKES you mindful of what it is that you consume, and how many calories it is.  Let me give you a real life example:

Up until a few months ago, a typical morning breakfast for me was a bowl of cereal at home, either a Starbucks Venti Mocha Frap or 44 oz. Soda (sometimes both), and either a Chocolate Chunk Cookie from Starbucks or a King Sized Reese's Fast Break candy bar.  That was breakfast.  Then one day, I started using LoseIt! to track my intake.  I diligently entered all my breakfast items.  Being a 6'4" 349 pound guy (back then) I had a calorie allotment of around 2500 calories or so per day.  The breakfast above went something like this (rounded for simplicity):  Cereal (380) + Soda (500) + Candy (480) = 1440 calories for BREAKFAST!  Not to mention all the sugar!  For lunch I would typically have a 1000 - 1500 calorie meal from some fast food joint, then dinner might be another 1500-2000 calories from say, maybe, a half a pizza.  Grand total on a given day could range from 4000-5000 calories!!!  More than double my appropriate amount!!! Add to that the fact that I am a sedentary office IT guy who LOATHED heat and sweating…and you get the formula that created my 349 lb. self.

On that first time using LoseIt!, when I saw the fact that my breakfast meal was well over half my daily allowance, I realized two things immediately.

1. I had to change something immediately
2. SODA was my ENEMY!  

For me, I could EEEEEASSILY consume 3-6 of those 44 oz sodas per day.  I drank big gulps at the 7/11 when I was a kid, I got a job at a Soda manufacturer that plied it's people with all the free soda they could drink and worked there for FIVE YEARS, I worked in a job that allowed me access to free soda for EIGHT years following that, and just have always generally drank soda as thought it were the nectar of the gods and I had found the magic fountain!

So, I cut soda out.  I used LoseIt! and lost 28 lbs. within a couple of months and was excited.  Then several factors caused me to fall off of it for a while and one day all that and more had come back to haunt me!  (Once again, let me stress that I was missing the mindfulness I have now found in Savor)

I've now been using LoseIt! for the last 3 months DAILY.  Setting up the "Motivators" (such as allowing it to post to FaceBook) has helped keep me at it this time, but really it's the Savor book that has helped me apply mindfulness so well that has kept me at it the most.  But, the bottom line is, I use it daily, I track my calories and my exercise, and I have now lost 45 pounds!

Now, to be fair, I can not tell you that LoseIt! is the perfect app (that honor goes to Happy Tapper and SimpleTouch for their apps I will talk about later).  There have been some bumps for me using it.  The first was the total loss of all my data during an update to the IOS.  Not actually their fault, but it happened none the less and there was nothing in place to prevent it.  They have since implemented online backups!  I also had, and continue to have, trouble finding a lot of the foods I eat in their database.  It's always been strange to me that they seem to have all the worst foods of a place, rather than the good items.  Like, they'll have SOME items that Burger Queen sells, but not ALL of them.  Or whatever.  It can be frustrating and, in the beginning, I think it could cause you to stop using it because what you eat may not be in the database.  They have since done regular updates, but this continues to be an issue.  Luckily, after a few months of using it, most of your stuff will be entered so it's no problem.

Now the great stuff!  The food entry methods are great!  They give you a bunch of great ways to find foods quickly which is extremely important.  You can search the overall database, your own foods, or you can quickly select from previous meals.  This last one is a GREAT thing if you eat the same breakfast every day or similar.  Also, you can create your own recipes, which can be a little time consuming, but is GREAT!  And other ways as well.  This app, just in general, works extremely well, and it's navigation is it's strongest feature in my opinion.  I think it's the simplicity and ease of navigation that keeps me coming back.  Also, a recent update introduced the ability to use the "app" online without having a smartphone.  So if you are not an iPhone user and still want to take advantage, you can!  They also greatly improved their overal structure online and introduced social networking with other users of the app.  It's pretty darned slick.  And in a less important nod to them, I have to give them serious props for their VERY nice security setup, AND testing....some social networking sites out there who rhyme with Schmacebook could take a page out of FitNow's book and be a lot better off!

There are countless other options out there that I have tried (because I keep hoping for a more comprehensive database and BAR CODE SCANNING!), but I keep coming back.  Calorie Counter is a good one, but ultimately (like most of the available apps for calorie counting) is a little overly complex for what it does.  All-In Fitness is a really slick app, but for some reason didn't appeal to me (though I am a fan of their apps).  And the best competitor to LoseIt! in my opinion is the LiveStrong.com app.  It is also more complex than I want, and not terribly slick, but it has the very best calorie database I have found anywhere.  There are numerous options for almost anything I have tried to find, even obscure items.  I believe - though I have no factual info on this - that it uses customer sourced info to build it's database, which can be both good and bad.  I like it so much, in fact, that I use it to find calorie info I can't find in LoseIt! and then enter them in.

So, to wrap up, LoseIt! is not perfection, but it's a fantastic app with a very strong community of support.  In recent months they have been a lot more responsive with new updates and I believe they even have a book coming out about the app as well.  


If I could only choose one app to recommend for calorie tracking it would be LoseIt!

Have you got a similar app that you prefer?  Please tell me what and why?  Let's get the Mondo part of MondoSamu happening! A little two-way discussion and sharing of info!

Go get LoseIt!

Til next time (when we discuss Meditate - Meditation Timer by SimpleTouch).

MondoSamu

"Savor" - The foundation of my process

"HOW?!"

That's the number one question people ask me when they see or hear that I have lost 45 pounds.

"Mindfulness" comes my one word answer.

Even when I tell them the more full length version as detailed in my previous post "The Plan!" it still sounds too easy.  Everyone either expects more, or thinks I'm oversimplifying it. Eat mindfully, exercise mindfully.  That's it.

Mindfulness, when you get right down to it, is all I am doing.  Sure I am initiating several other efforts using a variety of tools, but each of them is being used and performed mindfully.  The reason I stress this, is that I have done all of these things and COUNTLESS others in the past and none of those were successful individually.  I truly believe that what has happened for me with "Savor" and it's mindfulness message, is that I have found the glue that holds all those other efforts together.  The glue I was lacking in all my previous attempts.

I had a go at mindfulness once before.  It was a fad diet book, that actually had a great message (Eat what you want, when you want, when your full - stop.  And pay attention only to what you are eating.), and I still utilize it's core idea as part of my visualization process today.  But, ultimately, that other book focused on only one area of a persons life.  And that's where "Savor" excels.  It focuses on THE area of your life!

From the first days of my mindfulness efforts, I found things like the "Apple Meditation" to be amazingly effective!  Later in the book, I found the walking meditation to be a great practice as well.  But in the end, it's a very common sense, logical approach to help you focus on what matters, listen to your body and be happy all the while.  The end result?  Whatever you want it to be!

Co-Authored by Nutritionist, Dr. Lilian Cheung, and Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh, the book gives a very good balance between the Buddhist point of view on mindfulness and the medical science of nutrition.

Thich Nhat Hanh, or Thay as he is referred to by his students, is a Buddhist Monk whom most agree is second only to the Dalai Lama himself in terms of influence.  His life is a mind-boggling journey spanning decades of helping people who couldn't help themselves, yet those achievements - when reviewed on paper - seem so expansive as to have seemingly occupied three times his life span!  It's simply astonishing how involved in bringing peace to the world he has been.  From becoming a monastic at age 16, to helping to pioneer the idea of "Engaged Buddhism", to war relief, to youth services, hospitals, homeless, agricultural and many other areas Thich Nhat Hanh has tirelessly and ceaselessly helped spread love and mindfulness throughout the world, while helping people directly, and still has found time to author several dozen works as broad ranging in topic as his relief work is in scope.  Oh, and he founded the Plum Village meditation community in France.  Look up any of his talks on YouTube, and his sweet affable nature will endear you to him immediately.

Dr. Lilian W. Y. Cheung, D. Sc., R.D. is a nutritionist on the faculty of the Harvard School of Public Health's Dept. of Nutrition.  She's been a student of Thich Nhat Hanh for years and knows more than a thing or two about the obesity crisis facing our country.  She's been involved in numerous books, lectures, websites and mass media programs to help confront this problem, and hopefully - one day - put an end to it.  She's an amazing thought leader, with her finger on the pulse of one of the nations most serious concerns.  As a student (and teacher) of both nutrition AND Buddhism, she is uniquely qualified to bring this message of mindfulness to us from a perspective both spiritual and scientific.

I believe that the message of this book, and it's authors, has everything you need to help you make a change in your life that will be entirely positive and beneficial.  Ultimately, you have to be ready and willing to make that change, or it's just so much good information.  If you are, as I was, then this book could be the right message at the right time, for you to begin your own journey to a healthier, happier and more mindful life!

What I can not stress to you often enough, or clearly enough, is how utterly SIMPLE this weight loss effort has been for me.  It's taken very little of my time, I have not craved things I have cut out, I have become a virtual vegetarian (Megitarian as my friend Alicia put it), have not been hungry - NONE of the usual things that come with diets and workouts.  Utterly, amazingly, simple.  It's as though, by simply making the decision to be this person, I am.  And that's exactly what it is.

Best of luck to you, I literally wish this for you in my moving meditations!

M.S.