#RealHappiness - Day 6 - Hearing Meditation

So last night. on Day Six of the 2012 Real Happiness 28 Day Meditation Challenge, I decided to focus on the "Hearing Meditation" Sharon describes in "Real Happiness".  I actually do a similar practice quite often.  She invites us to "See if you can hear a sound without naming or interpreting it."  Simple right?

I actually utilize distracting sounds as the focal point of my meditation in order to prevent distraction quite often.  I started doing this early in my practice because I would wake early in the morning and meditate when the house was as quiet as it ever is.  With pets, a child, a spouse and living in the city it's unavoidable to experience sounds that can be distracting.

As an example, we have cats who would maybe start scratching on a post repeatedly or some such.  Another noise that was very minor, but which I found extremely distracting, was the hard drive in our DVR.  It would spin up now and then at odd times to record something and, me being a tech worker, catch my attention.  This points to the fact that these responses are learned responses and CAN be let go of, or at least handled differently. Only because I work with computers, where a hard drive sound could signal a problem, does this give that sound enough value in my brain to cause it to be a distraction.  Most people wouldn't even have heard it.   So, rather than getting annoyed by these distractions, I started turning my attention on them and just allowing them to happen, then observing my reactions to them.

This is been extremely helpful to me in building a practice in a distracting environment.  Now, almost two years later, I have been known to meditate quite happily in the middle of a parade crowd in DisneyWorld!

Well, last night, I followed Sharon's instructions around this practice and it worked well for the most part.  That is, it worked well in the way that it normally does for me, where I notice the sound and observe it.  Where this practice got tough for me was when I got to the part where Sharon says to "See if you can hear a sound without naming or interpreting it."  This is MUCH more challenging than it sounds.

This not "naming or interpreting" part is the key, I think, to the deeper levels of this practice.  It's simple enough to listen and observe sounds.  Getting to the point of hearing the sound, noting your response to it and then observing the space between those two is a great thing in itself.  To then not identify the sound is another level of practice altogether, though!  You've spent your entire lifetime learning that that sound outside is a bus, or a motorcycle or a dog barking.  To now try and hear the sound, observe your reaction to it and stop yourself from identifying it is truly challenging, at least for me! 

Anyhow, I sat listening to the television show my wife was listening to, the cars, the animals, the planes and so forth.  As I did, I realized I was paying so much attention to the effort to not identify these sounds that I was preventing myself from the rest of it.  The mindfulness of it.  So I relaxed, I allowed and observed.  I noted the space between the sound and the reaction.  And slowly, I started to glimpse the possibility of not identifying the sounds.  I very much enjoyed this expansion on a practice I already use regularly.  I expect I'll be spending more time on Hearing Meditation soon!

I hope your practice is expanding as well!

Be at ease!
_/\_

#RealHappiness - Day 5 - Gratitude!

Sunday afternoon is when the Two Hands Sangha meets for it's weekly meditation group. Day 5 of the challenge happened to be our Sangha meet day, so I rolled them all in to one.

In the week leading up to our gathering, I had picked up on a few loose ends of conversation and such. The theme that seemed to rise out of it all was Gratitude. I had heard each of our members expressing gratitude in various ways and for various things as well as missing opportunities to be grateful, including myself.

So, on Sunday morning, I found myself with a little free time and used it to try to sew those loose threads together for a talk on Gratitude. I was looking for some poetry about Gratitude and I stumbled across a fantastic article that not only included various quotes and poems on the subject, but a TON of other great insight on incorporating Gratitude in to our daily lives.

The article, by a gentleman I was not familiar with (Phillip Moffitt), was PERFECT for my needs. I ended up highlighting sections of it to discuss and had so much material that I really had to prune it down to fit it in the time frame we had.

Anyhow, once I found that incredible selection from DharmaWisdom, all I needed to round out the group meet was a nice guided meditation on Gratitude. I reached out to my #Twangha (all my Twitter Sangha from all over the world, including the #OMCru - Online Meditation Crew) and asked if anyone had a suggestion. Kayla Hewitt, a great young aspiring Dharma teacher, immediately reminded me of Gary Sanders recorded meditation on the topic. It was PERFECT!

So, we had our 20 minute guided meditation, followed by a beautiful 10 minute walking meditation in the gardens (Which was so lovely one member didn't even hear the bell and ran a little long enjoying the trees) and finally another 15 minute silent sit. We wrapped up with the reading from the article, and some discussion. It was truly a beautiful way to wrap up the weekend and I was FULL of gratitude for our wonderful little Sangha and my amazing #Twangha. 

If you don't belong to a Sangha yet - and perhaps if you're participating in the RealHappiness challenge, you might not - I would definitely encourage you to seek out one in your area. If you have good ones, that's a great thing to be grateful for! If you don't, start one and be grateful for that! ;) Best of luck with this practice, and may we all be at ease!

#RealHappiness - Day 4 - It was a good day!

In the words of the infamous sage Ice Cube, "I got to say it was a good day."

Yesterday my little Sangha had a field trip to a local spiritual book store, followed by a wonderful lunch at the World Peace Cafe run by a local Kadampa Buddhist Sangha.  My little girl got to know my Sangha mates and really connected with one of them deeply.  Following that, my wife took her to a hockey game giving me some free time which I used wisely.

A part of that wise use of time was to meditate for my fourth day of the 2012 Real Happiness 28 Day Meditation Challenge.  With the house, uncharacteristically, all to myself I prepped for my meditation (having added my new candle holder to my alter) and got started.  Or got stopped, I suppose, depending on how you look at it. ;)

Anyhow, it was very interesting.  First off the house was so unnaturally quiet that I could hear my body (sorry if this sounds gross) digesting my dinner.  So I sat with that.  For some indeterminate amount of time, I followed the sounds and sensations of my body turning my dinner in to fuel, and I observed the feelings and thoughts that came with it.  I offered gratitude for the process.  I've never done anything like this before and it was very interesting.

Eventually, I sort of fell away from that and stopped meditating long enough to launch a recent guided meditation and talk by Gary Sanders on Karuna.  Thus, I ended my fourth day of the challenge, having gained insights on compassion from Gary.  If you're not familiar with Gary, check out his blog, or follow him on twitter.  He's recently started recording his talks and meditations and has a handful of very nice ones to listen to.

See you tomorrow!
_/\_

#RealHappiness Meditation Challenge 2012 - Day 3

After a busy Friday at work, and a hectic evening, my wife reminded me at nine that I was normally sitting by then.  I hurried off to the bedroom, to the cushion, tweeting my check-in with the #OMCru on the way.  By the time I got settled on the cushion it was 9:03pm and I was really glad to be meditating.

I listened to a short guided meditation from the Real Happiness book, and when it ended I just sat following the breath.

It was a peaceful, uneventful sit with my attention drifting from one are of my body to another and observing.

Before I knew it, my timer bell went off and I was done.  Some days it goes by quickly like that.  It's almost hard to believe that 30 minutes has passed.

How's your Real Happiness Meditation Challenge going?  I'm interested to hear.  I hope you're finding the challenge beneficial so far.  Please remember the meaning of the name for this blog: 

Mondō: "questions and answers"; a recorded collection of dialogues between a pupil and teacher (I consider us all to be both)

Samu: Work service (in the sense of sutra service); meditation in work.

 

 

Right now, #RealHappiness is like this.

My daughter has recently started meditating with me for 5 minutes at a time. It makes me unimaginably proud to see her sitting by me in perfect, simple meditation. So funny that kids take so very easily to it. Obviously, for them, the hardest part is sitting still but the posture and instruction comes very easily. Anyhow she's started sitting with me for five minutes, now and then, before bed. Once she goes to bed, I usually do my full 30 minute sit.

Last night, on day two of the Real Happiness 28 Day Meditation Challenge, she was up far too late. She insisted that she wanted to meditate with me, which I thought was just a stall tactic for bedtime. She had already gone to bed and just wasn't asleep yet. I told her that I would meditate first and she could come in afterward if she was still awake. I expected she would fall instantly and deeply asleep as usual.

To my surprise, she did not. She called my wife while I was about half way through my meditation, and asked her if she could come sit with me. My wife quietly brought her in, and they sat together behind me, while I finished up.

So, Day Two of the Real Happiness Meditation Challenge was not as smooth as I would like for it to have been. But that's the practice. It simply IS whatever it IS. As my awesomely inked buddy Gary Sanders' tattoos (and blog) say..."Right now, it's like this."

Right Now, It's Like This

Sharon says, in Real Happiness, that whatever comes up you just sit with it.  Her guided meditations for the first week of the four week challenge are packed with extremely great, and simple, advice.  Very important things, such as a visualization that has helped me tremendously over the last couple of years where you imagine your thoughts as clouds and you as the sky.  The clouds come and go, but the sky remains still.  As she says in the book:

"If you get tangled up in thoughts, release them and start over. If you feel bored, or panicked, start over. If you can’t sit still, start over. If one day this week you just can’t find the time or the will to meditate, start over the next day." ~ Sharon Salzberg 'Real Happiness'

I would add that "If your wife brings your daughter in during your meditation, give a prayer of gratitude for how fortunate you are and start over." :)

So don't worry so much about your posture being perfect, or the noises, or the interruptions. Just sit. Daily.  And start over.

Sharon Salzberg's Real Happiness 28 Day Meditation Challenge 2012

"I am spiraling backward through space, and my "self" is not coming along for the ride!" was the first thing I *thought* during last nights meditation.  Of course, as soon as I *thought* it, I snapped back to *normal*.

I read Sharon Salzbergs "Real Happiness" several months ago, and liked it a lot.  I found it to be down to earth, simple and very useful for anyone new to meditation or looking to refresh on the basics.  I had already been meditating for almost two years, so I can't say the book was new information for me.  I already have a daily practice, and I think the book is primarily aimed at someone looking to get started and build the habit of a daily meditation practice.

That said, I really liked the format of the book, and I immediately bought a copy for a friend who had just started thinking of meditating.  I had it drop-shipped to her and she LOVED it!  She really found it to be a very easy to read and accessible book.  She's not a Buddhist, and is completely new to meditation, so this was a great review coming from her!

I've since recommended it to all of my fledgling Sangha members who are trying to get a regular (regular being the key word) practice going.

Two Hands Sangh

Anyhow, last night was the first meditation I had in February and I decided to take part in the challenge.  It was interesting and boring as usual.  I sat down at 9pm, checked in with the #OMCru (Online Meditation Crew) on Twitter, then launched my Insight Timer app on my iPhone and began my sit.

Almost immediately I had one of those interesting little events that one can experience.  As mentioned at the opening of this post, I felt as though I was spiraling backward through blackness, or space, in a slow lazy spiral.  In my mind, I could sort of *see* my thoughts - or at least what I perceived as my thoughts - staying where *I* was.  It was a very strange thing that I have not experienced before.  But the moment I noticed that this was happening, and thought "COOL!" the whole thing slowly evaporated leaving me just sitting there with my eyes closed watching my thoughts come and go as usual.  Oh well.  One of the things I have read in nearly every book on the subject is not to get attached to these odd little things.  They are just part of the mind and ego doing it's thing.  Or, as Jack Kornfield's teacher Ajahn Chah told him (from a story in "Bringing Home The Dharma") "Good.  Something else to let go of!"

The last half of my sit went by with the usual monkey mind and mindfulness and when it was done, I decided to post a quote from the book "Real Happiness" on my Tumblr site and I also decided that I would blog daily here during February about my daily practice.  I imagine most of the posts will be a lot shorter, as my sits are usually more mundane. 

Mostly, I hope that anyone reading this might have some curiosity about meditation and choose to join the Meditation challenge.  Just because you're late, doesn't mean you can't start!  Much more important than the challenge, however, I would highly suggest the book, and I would also HIGHLY suggest finding support wherever you can and getting a daily practice going.  The Online Meditation Crew is a PHENOMENAL resource for support, especially if you don't have anyone to practice with in the real world.  The folks in the OMCru are more than willing to welcome you and support you with tweets or Facebook or G+ posts.  I've made some great friends, even *IRL* friends through it, and it's an invaluable resource you can tap in to for support.  If you do take the challenge, and you do use Twitter - perhaps in conjunction with the OMCru - be sure to use the hashtags #RealHappiness and #OMCru to find all the folks doing the same!

So…go to the site, sign up for the challenge, and don't just do something…SIT THERE! ;-)

99 Problems but to bitch ain't one.

Man, some days you look around and everything is great.  Other days you look around and it just seems like everyone everywhere is suffering and life's a bitch.  It can be overwhelming sometimes!  And, sometimes, you just want to bitch about it.

I have a friend whose ex-husband (and father of her two daughters) is in liver failure.  Another very dear friend who's in the hospital suffering from Lupus.  A buddy with heart troubles.  A few friends dealing with depression in it's various nasty forms.  One friend who lost two of his friends this week.  A couple of friends going through divorces.  A teacher who's lost his mother this month.  And on and on. 

When you see this much suffering, particularly amongst your own friends and loved ones - and to such a high degree - it's pretty tough to stay positive.  I'm doubly fortunate that I'm Buddhist AND a ridiculously positive guy for the most part (At least I think so!), but even for me it's tough.

This week, with so many important people in my life suffering so greatly, I've had Samsara on my mind heavily.  As the first of these things came to my attention, I rallied around the persons and buoyed them.  Later, as I learned of the suffering of a few of the others, I spread my support a little thinner, mentally speaking of course.  In the last few days, as the problems kept mounting, I've found myself a little more distracted.  At first I didn't realize it.  Eventually, I recognized (as I consider myself incredibly fortunate to be able to do) that my mindfulness was suffering and my thoughts were sliding away from the areas that needed them (such as compassion and equanimity), and more toward areas that I can do nothing about (such as fixing these problems for people, as I am wont to do).  I've caught myself, a few times this week, just bitching and whining about it saying some things very uncharacteristic of me, such as "Man, this sucks!" or "Jeez, she can't catch a break!".  I don't usually think in these terms.  Even before Buddhism came in to my life, I didn't tend to get down about things much, but these days I rarely ever think like this.

So, I guess this post is really about compassion and equanimity.  I was tweeting with a buddy of mine @SamsaricWarrior this evening for the first time in a while.  I had seen he was experiencing some sort of health issue and asked him about it.  He's the aforementioned person with heart troubles.  I only know Michael from Twitter and Facebook, but he's what I call "a good cat".  He tends to start the day off with a tweet to the world somewhere along the lines of "Good morning, me lovelies!" or some other positive thought.

@SamsaricWarrior - Good Cat.

So he tells me, when I asked how he was doing, "Yea, seems my heart isn't happy. No worries. I try to stay unattached to life and have come to terms with death.  I just try to enjoy every moment I can and hope I can be of benefit to as many as I can while I am here. :)"

What a badass.

Then, when I asked how serious it was.  He says "Well, you can hear it make lovely scary noises if you're standing within 5 feet of me in a quiet room. I have 2 valves that are fighting each other and every day it gets harder to catch my breath. Doctors are struggling to pinpoint the problem.  So for now it's tests, meds, and more tests. But like I said, it's all good. I don't let it bother me and just focus on my breath.  We all suffer in some way. This body is just a shell. I just hope that whatever happens, I can continue to try and help others."

What a total, Samsaric Warrior Badass Mother Effer.  (It says so on his wallet.) 

Anyhow, this conversation snapped me back to the present moment, collected all the concerned thoughts of my friends in to a neat pile and brought in to focus the fact that all I can do for all of this suffering is support my friends with lovingkindness and skillful behavior.  For myself, I must continue to practice, sit with all of this, and meet it all with compassion, equanimity and mindfulness.  Thanks for your practice, @SamsaricWarrior, and for reminding me that I got ninety-nine problems, but bitchin' ain't gonna be one!

_/|\_